Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
