There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
