..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize