then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
