I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
