Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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