We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
