I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
