i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
