i don't like sucking hair
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize