do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
