I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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