Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
God, I missed his penis.
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