Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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