I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
