He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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