Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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