They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
is it fun? or sober?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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