their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think I sprained my soul last night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
