People in love make me want to vomit
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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