How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
