If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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