I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Of course I have a pirate flag
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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