You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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