Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
