the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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