I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
