I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
