the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
