i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I looked at my own cervix.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
