I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
