u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
