i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
