just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
