did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
