This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
