Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
