dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
