I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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