We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
