i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
