You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
