I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
