Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
This toilet bowl is my home.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
