I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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