My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He felt like a one man threesome
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
