party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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