Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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