You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
