based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
being pregnant is like rehab
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
