There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
