it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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