Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
