i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
