y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Are we still banned from the library?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
