Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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