Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize