You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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