i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
