I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
