I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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