hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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