Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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