Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
