Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
